that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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