I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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