we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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