I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
