My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
