eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the room spins SO much faster in panama
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
