He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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