you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
