STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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