I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
