Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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