I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
