before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize