And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
