Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
