so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
