Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
