Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize