i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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