Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
