im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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