Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
