she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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