You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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