youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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