Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
