think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize