what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
