He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
