You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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