guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
