I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
