I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do vagina's smell?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
