and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
