let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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