Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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