im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
