I think I am morally bankrupt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
