Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
