her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
