im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need a beard to bite.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
