drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize