This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
