Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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