Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you win again, gameday.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
