STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
