I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
