god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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