He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's like heaven, but drunker
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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