I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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