that's an acceptable place to lick
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
