nut hugger
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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