Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
