Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
