He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
