So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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