yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
