things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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