He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
