I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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