Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
cat food counts as protein by the way
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
