the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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