i think i have herpe
just one?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize