I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
