Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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