i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ketchup is God's man juice
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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