Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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