She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
