Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
