What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize